January 2021
I look back and watch the other people in the Unfixed film and I see the similarities and the various stages of growth and grieving and healing - and as I look at each other's wisdom and feel and hold each other’s pain, that’s just so meaningful. People don’t have the opportunity to sometimes really sit with the breadth of the human experience. And when we get to sit and just feel with other people, it can be scary and uncomfortable but it’s really, when you think about it, a beautiful part of the relatively short time we have on this planet. And so for that, I’m grateful.
- Unfixed subject Brianna Cardenas
Holding is healing
Turns out, I was wrong. I grew up believing that our strength comes from the parts of ourselves that are shiny and polished. Western culture, Hollywood character arcs and pop-culture often tells us this is true - presenting ourselves to the world with a bow on our heads and a scripted and clever narrative in our hands - then, we are of service. Then, we are worthy of this world. But it's becoming refreshingly clear that living well doesn't mean eradicating our wounds and vulnerabilities. Instead, it's understanding that they actually complete us.
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen once said "We thought we could cure everything but it turns out we can only cure a small amount of disease. The rest of it needs to be held." In many ways, this "holding" is at the heart of Unfixed. Over the past twelve months, we've been creating space for those with chronic conditions to think deeply on topics, share their vulnerabilities and feel heard and held by each other... and by you.
This continues to be an enlivening, healing experience for all of us. And by "healing" I don't mean we've been cured of our conditions and disabilities or that we now exist in a constant state of bliss. Here in the Unfixed universe, we're learning to hold and be present to each other's pain. We're making room in our hearts for it to coexist with our joy and our self-worth. We are allowing the fierce teachings of physical suffering suffering to be a valuable and essential part of our lives.
In this embrace, we are starting to feel less alone. In this holding, we are confronting parts of ourselves we never knew existed. In this unconditional presence, we are bringing everything into the light. And if that isn't healing, I don't know what is.
This is perhaps the most tender-hearted, raw and achingly honest video we've released as our subjects explore how they've changed over the past twelve months - how the Unfixed project is affecting them and also how the've been shaped by each other, life events, their conditions and the relentless hands of father time. I’ve cried so many times as our inimitable co-producer and editor Mia Allen worked through the stages of the edit. And just when I think it’s not possible to cry again, I do.
What's unnervingly clear to the stubborn parts of me that still want Hollywood endings (even as I make this film about being unfixed) is that some of our bodies are leaning toward grieving and letting go while others are turning toward holding on - embracing new chapters, new possibilities. We are all on uniquely different trajectories but for the precious time being, we are together. And through this simple act of gathering, sharing, listening and holding, time is changing our bodies, our lives, into more than finite bags of skin and bone, and instead transforming us into vessels for truth that will live on, even when our bodies don't.
PLEASE CLICK THE VIDEO BELOW AND SPEND A MOMENT OF YOUR DAY HOLDING THE STORIES OF THE UNFIXED.
The Unfixed Podcast: Athletes and Adversity
Featuring Susan Wood and Todd Vogt
Want to start your February with a story of perseverance and good old-fashioned teamwork? Unfixed and Beyond My Battle have a new podcast episode airing on February 1st!
Todd is a competitive rower who medaled at the US National Championships and is now training to qualify for the 2021 Paralympics. Susan is also a competitive rower, became an Olympic coach in 2004 and also a photographer for US Rowing. Currently, the two not only share most days of the week together in training, but they also were diagnosed a few years ago with degenerative diseases. Todd is learning to strike the balance between toughness, pushing through and rest, something pre-Parkinson’s he never really had to do. And Susan, as his coach, is always trying to find workarounds to the challenges his body presents whilst learning to adapt to her own new physical limitations. In this episode these two seasoned athletes explore how movement and training have become a therapeutic part of living with a chronic illness, how the meaning of strength has changed over the last few years, and how coaching is ultimately a good metaphor for life.
Stay tuned
Are we saying goodbye? No way. While originally planned for 12 months together on the docu-series branch of the Unfixed universe but it's become clear that we have more work to do together. We will be releasing 6 more videos this year, one every-other-month, alongside new podcast episodes and some exciting collaborations in the works. And when we have the production partnership and funding to return our attention to the feature documentary, we will resume filming.
Thank you from the warmest, most appreciative parts of our hearts for sharing in this journey with us.
Kimberly Warner
director/producer